Lesson 95

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Lesson #95

Please verbalize or
have in mind that you are studying this material as a merit for a specific
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Believing rechilus
told by family members

  1. If my mother tells me rechilus may I believe her?
  1. There are many people who in general are careful not to
    accept loshon horah or rechilus, yet when they hear it from a parent or a
    spouse they tend to believe it; assuming that they would certainly not lie
    to them.  This is a mistake.  Halachicly, there is no difference between
    parents or other close relatives and anyone else.  To the contrary, one
    has an obligation to rebuke (in a gentle manner) members of his household,
    even a parent, who are engaged in loshon horah or rechilus.


Believing rechilus
when evidence is present

  1. Someone told me that a friend of mine is trying to
    undermine a new business venture that I’ve recently embarked on.  I have clear
    evidence that what he told me is true.  May I believe him?
  1. The guidelines for believing rechilus (or loshon horah)
    when evidence is present is as follows:
    1. Even if the matter is true, if there is room to judge him
      favorably you must do so.
    2. It must be solid evidence and not “half baked”.
    3. You must see the evidence yourself.  It is not sufficient
      to hear about it from others.
    4. Even if you have evidence, you may only listen to the rechilus
      if there is a benefit for you to hear it.
    5. You’re only allowed to believe it but you may not tell
      others about it nor harm him in any way, physically, or monetarily, based
      on what you’ve heard.


This section is
formatted as a conversation between Oded and Menaseh.   Oded is encouraging his
friend Menaseh to be more careful in guarding his tongue from evil speech.  The
thoughts in this section are primarily based on the sefer, Shmiras Haloshon.

Oded:  Moshe, in the brocha that he gave to Zevulun
and Yissachar stated: “Rejoice Zevulun when you go out and Yissachar in your

Menaseh:  Where was Zevulun going?

Oded:  On business trips.

Menaseh:  Usually, people do not rejoice when they
set out on business trips but rather when they return from a successful trip. 
Especially if the journey is a dangerous one, as I would imagine it was in
those days, since they traveled on ships across the sea.

Oded:  You are correct.  But that was precisely
Moshe’s blessing!  Since Zevulun was going to support Yissachar’s Torah
learning Moshe declared that Zevulun could be confident that his business trip
would meet with success.  Therefore, even upon setting out Zevulun was able to

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