Lesson 63c Loshon horah about children

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Lesson #63c

Please verbalize or
have in mind that you are studying this material as a merit for a specific
single and/or Jewish singles throughout the world.


Loshon horah about


  1. Am I allowed to speak loshon horah about a minor (a boy
    under the age of 13 or a girl under the age of 12)?
  1. Generally it’s permitted, unless you know that it will
    cause damage to the child.  A common example of this would be an orphan
    who is being cared for by others.  By speaking loshon horah about him, you
    might cause his caregiver to abandon him, thereby causing him great harm.


  1. If the child is causing harm to others, may I reveal this
    information; even if it will have a negative impact on the child?
  1. Essentially it is permitted, however, the following 2 matters
    must be carefully considered before doing so:
    1. You must verify the veracity of your information and not
      be quick to rely on what you’ve heard from others.
    2. You must carefully weigh the consequences that will
      result from your words.  Often, the consequences do not justify the
      benefits.  For example, if as a result of your words the child is kicked
      out of his home or yeshiva, you might be endangering the child’s life or
      spiritual wellbeing.

It is therefore essential to
consult with a competent halachic authority before making such a weighty


This section is
formatted as a conversation between Oded and Menaseh.   Oded is encouraging his
friend Menaseh to be more careful in guarding his tongue from evil speech.  The
thoughts in this section are primarily based on the sefer, Shmiras Haloshon.

Oded:  Someone who has taken upon himself to guard
his mouth will certainly not join gatherings of people for he will certainly
stumble in forbidden speech, either himself, or by listening to others.  When
he gets together with individuals he will completely refrain from talking about
others.  Such a person will certainly gain many additional hours in his week
for Torah learning and mitzvah performance.  With this in mind, there is a
posuk in Koheles that we can now explain.

Menaseh:  Which posuk is that?

Oded:  “See life with a woman that you love all the
days of your life of nothingness… for it is your portion in life.”

Menaseh:  Would you mind illuminating that posuk a

Oded:  Not at all!  A woman that you love refers to
the Torah.  The posuk is warning us not to skip even one day of Torah learning
for that is the essence of our lives.

Menaseh:  But what does it mean by “… all the days of
your life of nothingness”?

Oded:  The posuk is telling us; who is the person who
will make sure that not a day goes to waste?  A person who understands that
this world is a world of emptiness.  He realizes that he was only sent here for
the purpose of fulfilling the mission assigned to him by the creator; to obtain
his portion in Torah and mitzvos so that he may bask in the light of world to
come.  Only from such a person is it possible to expect that he will preserve
all his days.

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questions regarding these lessons, feel free to contact Rabbi Faivel Adelman clicking here.


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1) Sefer Chofetz Chaim Sec. 1 Chap. 8 Par. 3 Be’er Mayim
Chaim 5

2) Sefer Chofetz Chaim Sec. 1 Chap. 8 Par. 3 Be’er Mayim
Chaim 7


Sefer Shmiras Haloshon Section 2 Chap. 5

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