Lesson 4c Non-verbal comunication – When including ones self

Dedicated l’illuy nishmas

Rebecca bas Yedida

Note:  We are now presented with a great
opportunity!  Since we have just begun a new cycle of hilchos Shmiras haloshon,
it’s the perfect time to encourage others to join and thereby increase the
zechuyos being generated for the sake of our single brethren.  Remember, by
increasing the number of participants we are not just increasing the zechuyos
proportionally, but rather exponentially!  Such is the power of a large group
that is doing the will of Hashem.  Let’s each encourage 2 friends to join. 
Imagine the tremendous benefit that will result, on our account.  Here is the
link to sign up:  http://groups.yahoo.com/group/segulah4singles/join

Lesson #8

Please verbalize or
have in mind that you are studying this material as a merit for a specific
single and/or Jewish singles throughout the world.


Criticizing a


  1. I have a friend who is quite critical of our Rav’s
    drashos.  He often shares his thoughts with me.  Is this a violation of
    loshon horah?
  1. Of the worst kind.  Let’s briefly examine the tremendous
    harm your friend is causing by his slander.
    1. If the Rav finds out (as is often the case) that people
      are disparaging his drashos it can cause him tremendous embarrassment.
    2. It can cause him to lose his job.
    3. He is causing a decrease in Avodas Hashem (serving
      Hashem).  The Rav’s words are generally designed to inspire people to
      Avodas Hashem. Through his ridicule, he is causing the Rav’s words to be
      ineffective.  This is a very grave sin.
    4. He is degrading a Talmid Chochom.  This sin is so severe that
      it results in the forfeiture of ones portion in the world to come.

His intentions are obviously
malicious.  If he really cared, he would approach the Rav privately and offer
him constructive criticism on how to improve his drashos.  It is absolutely
forbidden to listen to his words of ridicule.  To the contrary, it is your
responsibility to rebuke him, for he is committing a very grave sin.


  1. But didn’t we learn that the Torah doesn’t forbid loshon
    horah about something that is already public knowledge?  The Rav’s drashos
    are delivered before many people.
  1. That principle does not apply here for a number of

1.      People have varying tastes and opinions.  What doesn’t appeal to him
might be very appealing to others.

2.      Generally, people who ridicule drashos tend to add their own
perspective and quite often embellish it with falsehoods.  His spin on the
matter was certainly not public knowledge.

3.      This leniency is not valid when the teller flavors the incident in
order to disparage someone.


This section is
formatted as a conversation between Oded and Menaseh.   Oded is encouraging his
friend Menaseh to be more careful in guarding his tongue from evil speech.  The
thoughts in this section are primarily based on the sefer, Shmiras Haloshon.

Oded:  As we mentioned yesterday, we are commanded to
remember what Hashem did to Miriam.

Menaseh:  You were going to explain the posuk that
people recite daily in order to remember what Hashem did to Miriam so that I may
take the words to heart and not just recite them.

Oded:  Okay, let’s begin.  The posuk states as
follows: “Remember what Hashem your G-d did to Miriam on the way when you left Egypt”.  The posuk is informing us of 4 things which we need to direct our attention to. 
They are:

1.      What  (What did Hashem do)

2.      Who  (To whom did he do it)

3.      Where  (Where did Hashem do this)

4.      When  (When was it done)

Menaseh:  What, is Tzoras, to who, is to Miriam,
where, is on the way, and when, is when we left Egypt.

Oded:  That’s correct!

Menaseh:  I’m not sure that I understand your point.

Oded:  If we analyze each aspect, individually, we
will have a new appreciation of how severe loshon horah is in the eyes of

Menaseh:  Okay.

Oded:  Let’s start with the “what”.  Tzoras is a very
severe infliction for the following reasons:

1.      There is no way to be cured from it without divine intervention.

2.      The impurity of tzoras is so severe that a person who has it must sit
outside of all 3 camps (in other words, away from civilization).

3.      If you come under the same roof as a person with tzoras, you become

4.      A person who has tzoras is considered as if he/she is dead.

Menaseh:  Is tzoras more severe than other

Oded:  Yes.  Tzoras is the only impurity that
requires leaving all 3 camps.  Additionally, most other impurities do not
contaminate those that are under the same roof (aside from the impurity of a
dead body).

Menaseh:  I certainly now have a greater appreciation
of the severity of tzoras.

Oded:  Good!  We will continue with our analysis

If you have any
questions regarding these lessons, feel free to contact Rabbi Faivel Adelman by
hitting the reply button.


For information
about sponsorship opportunities, send a message to the following email
address:  lessonaday@yahoo.com

If you know others
who would appreciate this program, please encourage them to join.  The more
people participating, the greater the zechus!  In addition, you will have a
share in the merit of anyone who improves their speech as a result of you
signing them onto this program!!



1) Sefer Chofetz Chaim Sec. 1 Chap. 2 Par.

2) Sefer Chofetz Chaim Sec. 1 Chap. 2 Be’er Mayim
Chaim 25


Sefer Shmiras Haloshon Sha’ar Hatevunah Chap. 12

Latest Lessons