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Lesson #42

Please verbalize or
have in mind that you are studying this material as a merit for a specific
single and/or Jewish singles throughout the world.

Halachah

What may be a
compliment about one may be loshon horah about another

#1

1. Would it be considered loshon horah to say that someone
   gives $10,000 in charity per year?

1. It depends whom you’re speaking about. In some cases it may
   be loshon horah in other cases it may be a compliment.  If you are
   speaking about someone who is very wealthy and you say that he gives
   $10,000 in charity a year that might be considered miserly for a man of
   his means and would therefore be considered loshon horah.  However, if you
   are speaking about an average fellow who is making enough to get by on and
   you say that he gives to charity $10,000/year that is a very big
   compliment.

#2

1. May I say that my friend learns Torah, 3or 4 hours a day? 
   If someone would say that about me it would be a tremendous compliment!

1. If your friend is someone who has no livelihood concerns
   and his entire day is free for learning, it might be loshon horah to say
   that he only learns 3 or 4 hours a day.  The fact that for you it would be
   a compliment is irrelevant, since if you were in the same situation as he,
   i.e. you didn’t have to work for a living, it might also be insulting if
   one would say that you only learn Torah 3 or 4 hours a day.

Aggadah

This section is
formatted as a conversation between Oded and Menaseh.   Oded is encouraging his
friend Menaseh to be more careful in guarding his tongue from evil speech.  The
thoughts in this section are primarily based on the sefer, Shmiras Haloshon.

Oded:  We mentioned 7 possible causes that can lead a
person to freely speak loshon horah.  They were:

·       
Anger

·       
Frivolity

·       
Arrogance

·       
Hopelessness

·       
Abandonment

·       
Complaining nature

·       
Rationalization

Menaseh:  We were discussing cause #7, rationalization. 
You mentioned yesterday, that the only way to fight this cause is by becoming
proficient in the laws of guarding ones tongue.

Oded:  Correct.  I also said that this tactic is more
helpful than any other; not only in countering the sin of loshon horah but all
sins as well.

Menaseh:  Can you explain how that works?

Oded:  Sure!  When a person commits a specific sin,
many times, the yetzer horah (evil inclination) rules over him/her regarding
that sin; to the extent that the person might no longer notice when he/she is
committing the sin.  The way to counter that is by thoroughly learning the laws
pertaining to that particular sin and to review them many times.

Menaseh:  What does that accomplish?

Oded:  2 things.  The first is that it will implant
this mitzvah in your mind so that you will be cognizant of it and thereby
enable you to refrain from doing it.  The second effect is that when you toil
over the words of our sages, Hashem removes the yetzer horah from you.

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questions regarding these lessons, feel free to contact Rabbi Faivel Adelman by
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Sources

Halachah

1) Sefer Chofetz Chaim Sec. 1 Chap. 5 Par.
6

2) Sefer Chofetz Chaim Sec. 1 Chap. 5 Par. 6

Agaddah

Sefer Shmiras Haloshon Sha’ar Hatevunah Chap. 16