Lesson 2c Habitual loshon horah – Pressure from parent

Dedicated l’illuy nishmas

Rebecca bas Yedida

Note:  We are now presented with a great
opportunity!  Since we have just begun a new cycle of hilchos Shmiras haloshon,
it’s the perfect time to encourage others to join and thereby increase the
zechuyos being generated for the sake of our single brethren.  Remember, by
increasing the number of participants we are not just increasing the zechuyos
proportionally, but rather exponentially!  Such is the power of a large group
that is doing the will of Hashem.  Let’s each encourage 2 friends to join. 
Imagine the tremendous benefit that will result, on our account.  Here is the
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Lesson #4

Please verbalize or
have in mind that you are studying this material as a merit for Jewish singles
throughout the world.



Loshon horah
through non-verbal communication

  1. I’m in a store with a friend trying to return an item that
    I purchased yesterday.  I explain to the Jewish clerk the reason for my
    dissatisfaction but he refuses to accept the return.  As I walk out I turn
    to my friend and place my index finger by the side of my head and give two
    quick twirls (A gesture indicating a severe malfunction in the Cerebrum). 
    Have I violated the prohibition of loshon horah?
  1.  Absolutely.  As we mentioned in lesson 1, loshon horah is
    defined as any form of communication, (verbal or nonverbal) that will
    bring harm onto a fellow Jew.  Therefore, hinting, sign language, writing,
    or even merely showing someone a poorly written letter with the intent of
    harming a fellow Jew, all fall under the category of loshon horah.


Is it loshon horah
when I include myself in the story?

  1.  I was relating an incident that happened to me and a
    couple of friends on our recent camping trip.  The story does not portray
    us in the most positive light.  By including myself in the story, have I
    successfully skirted the issue of loshon horah?
  1.  Even if you make yourself the main focus of the story and
    you have no intention of degrading your friends, you are still in
    violation.  We find that Yeshayahu Hanavi was punished for saying: “Woe is
    to me for I shall die, for I am a man with impure lips and I dwell amongst
    a nation of people with impure lips”.  To which Hashem responded:  About
    yourself you may speak but who permitted you to slander my children.



This section is
formatted as a conversation between Oded and Menaseh.   Oded is encouraging his
friend Menaseh to be more careful in guarding his tongue from evil speech.  The
thoughts in this section are primarily based on the sefer, Shmiras Haloshon.

Oded:  One must guard his tongue from various forms
of harmful speech.

Menaseh:  What are the different forms that you’re
referring to?

Oded:  Loshon horah, rechilus, strife, cursing,
verbal abuse and embarrassing ones fellow Jew.

Menaseh:  How can I guard my tongue from all of that?

Oded:  As we mentioned earlier, working on having
trust in Hashem, can go a long way in helping us guard our tongues.

Menaseh:  So if I’m in an argument with a fellow who
caused me great financial damage and I’m really upset about it, how is having
trust in Hashem going to help me?

Oded:  That’s a perfect example!  Our sages tell us
that anyone who places his trust in Hashem, Hashem will cover for him in this
world and in the next.

Menaseh:  Can you elaborate on that?

Oded:  Sure.  If you place your trust in Hashem,
Hashem will return what you lost, therefore, there is no need to quarrel. 
Certainly, if you refrain from quarreling with the fellow so that you won’t
come to say or do anything that is against Hashem’s will and you place your
trust in Hashem and request that He reimburse you some other way; Hashem will
certainly cover for you.

Menaseh:  So if I don’t quarrel for the sake of
Hashem and I place my trust in Hashem I am guaranteed to be reimburse by

Oded:  Correct!

If you have any
questions regarding these lessons, feel free to contact Rabbi Faivel Adelman by
hitting the reply button.


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If you know others
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1) Sefer Chofetz Chaim Sec. 1 Chap. 1 Par.

2) Sefer Chofetz Chaim Sec. 1 Chap. 1 Par. 9


Sefer Shmiras Haloshon Sha’ar Hatevunah Chap. 11

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