Lesson 25

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Lesson #25

Please verbalize or
have in mind that you are studying this material as a merit for a specific
single and/or Jewish singles throughout the world.


Irreparable loshon


  1. What kind of loshon horah should I be most careful to
  1. All loshon horah is awful and needs to be completely
    avoided.  However, one needs to be especially careful to avoid the
    following, as teshuva is almost impossible:
  • Habitual loshon horah:  As mentioned in lesson 24b,
    if one habitually speaks loshon horah, he/she will not remember all the
    people they have slandered.  As such, it is impossible to seek their
    forgiveness and teshuva cannot be effectuated.
  • Family Malignment:  If one maligns a family, he
    can cause damage to all future generations as well, making atonement

Inquiring about
old friends


  1. When I meet someone from my old neighborhood, I tend to
    inquire as to how my old buddies are faring.  Is this okay?
  1. Such a course of conversation often leads to loshon horah;
    therefore, it should be avoided; as there is no benefit in knowing
    negative information about former neighbors, unless, you are able and
    willing to influence them to change their ways.


This section is
formatted as a conversation between Oded and Menaseh.   Oded is encouraging his
friend Menaseh to be more careful in guarding his tongue from evil speech.  The
thoughts in this section are primarily based on the sefer, Shmiras Haloshon.

Oded:  We mentioned 7 possible causes that can lead a
person to freely speak loshon horah.  They were:






Complaining nature


Menaseh:  We’ve already discussed anger and
frivolity.  We are now up to arrogance.

Oded:  A person, who is arrogant, considers himself
to be wise and important.  Others, are low in his eyes.  As such, he has the
audacity to debase them.

Menaseh:  I would imagine that one who is arrogant
might feel jealous if there is someone else in his community that is honored.

Oded:  That is a good point.  He is likely to feel
that his honor is diminished on account of this other fellow.  He will think to
himself, if not for this fellow I would be considered important.  He then will
try and think of negative things to say about this fellow in order to embarrass
him, degrade him and to demonstrate his own superiority over him.

Menaseh:  I personally know of many situations where
loshon horah was spoken for purposes of honor.

Oded:  A person who is arrogant is likely to be a
part of all 4 groups that will not merit receiving the countenance of the
divine presence.

Menaseh:  What are the 4 groups?

Oded:  Flatterers, liars, talebearers, and buffoons.

Menaseh:  And how is an arrogant person a member of
all these groups?

Oded:  He will bear tales so as to increase
his own honor by degrading his friend.  He will make jokes at his
friend’s expense, since he looks down upon him.  He will glorify himself, falsely,
with attributes that he does not possess.  He will flatter evildoers and
not rebuke them, so that they shouldn’t come to hate him and diminish his honor.

Menaseh:  Arrogance sounds quite bad!

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questions regarding these lessons, feel free to contact Rabbi Faivel Adelman by
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1) Sefer Chofetz Chaim Sec. 1 Chap. 4 Par.

2) Sefer Chofetz Chaim Sec. 1 Chap. 4 Par. 12


Sefer Shmiras Haloshon Sha’ar Hatevunah Chap. 14

Note to our American readers:  These lessons are sent
out from Eretz Yisroel where only one day of Yom Tov is observed.

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