Lesson 14

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Avraham Mordechai ben Yosef

Lesson #14

Please verbalize or
have in mind that you are studying this material as a merit for a specific
single and/or Jewish singles throughout the world.


When must we judge
our fellow Jew favorably?


  1. Yesterday, I noticed an acquaintance leaving a store with
    a bag of groceries, without paying.  It seems to me that he’s a thief.  May
    I share this information with others?
  1. Before addressing whether you may share this information
    or not, we must clarify how are you to judge what you’ve witnessed.  There
    are 2 factors that need to be taken into consideration:
    1. What is the nature of the person whom you are suspecting?

a.       G-d Fearing

b.      Average

c.       Rasha (malicious sinner)

    1. How suspicious was the incident?

a.       50%-50%

b.      More likely favorable

c.       More likely unfavorable

If he is a:

G-d fearing individual:

You must judge him favorably under all

Average person:

If it’s 50% favorable or above, you must judge him

If it’s more likely unfavorable, you are not
required to judge him favorably but it’s preferable to consider it a doubt.
However, it’s a good midda to judge him favorably, even in this circumstance.


You should judge him unfavorably under all

Loshon horah based
on an unfavorable judgment


  1. If I don’t judge him favorably when I’m supposed to and go
    tell others about what I saw, am I committing a sin?
  1. You are committing at least 2 sins.  A) You’re in
    violation of the positive commandment to judge your fellow Jew favorably. 
    B) You have violated the sin of speaking loshon horah and all other sins
    that come along with it.


This section is
formatted as a conversation between Oded and Menaseh.   Oded is encouraging his
friend Menaseh to be more careful in guarding his tongue from evil speech.  The
thoughts in this section are primarily based on the sefer, Shmiras Haloshon.

Oded:  All these ideas which we’ve been discussing
will only work for someone who hasn’t yet fallen into habitual loshon horah. 
However, someone who is already accustomed to speaking loshon horah and has
great difficulty refraining; requires an entirely different approach.

Menaseh:  And what would that approach be?

Oded:  Similar to the way a doctor would approach one
who has a physical illness.

Menaseh:  Can you elaborate?

Oded:  Sure.  A doctor first tries to discover the
underlying reason for the ailment so that he can come up with the appropriate
cure which will address the root cause of the illness.

Menaseh:  So how does that translate over to one who
is smitten with the disease of loshon horah?

Oded:  To properly address it, we must first find the
root cause of why the person is obsessed with speaking loshon horah.

Menaseh:  Can you share with me some possible causes
for habitual loshon horah?

Oded:  There are 7 general categories.  They are as






Complaining nature


Menaseh:  I hope you will elaborate on those causes.

Oded:  We will discuss them one by one, starting

If you have any
questions regarding these lessons, feel free to contact Rabbi Faivel Adelman by
hitting the reply button.


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1) Sefer Chofetz Chaim Sec. 1 Chap. 3 Par.

2) Sefer Chofetz Chaim Sec. 1 Chap. 3 Par. 7


Sefer Shmiras Haloshon Sha’ar Hatevunah Chap. 13

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