Lesson 120

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Lesson #120

Please verbalize or
have in mind that you are studying this material as a merit for a specific
single and/or Jewish singles throughout the world.



Taking the
initiative to inform about lack of presumed Torah scholarship

  1. It’s very disturbing to see this girl’s father committing
    to a large dowry for a boy whom he thinks is a fine Torah scholar but is
    really not.  I feel like he’s getting ripped off.  Am I allowed to say
    anything under these circumstances?
  1. In order to permit yourself to say anything, you must
    first evaluate whether the father indeed plans on coming through on his commitment.
    Very often, these promises are merely words and don’t end up materializing.
    As such, the father is not really getting “ripped off”.  Additionally, you
    must adhere to the previously mentioned conditions (see appendix below).


Prospect comes
from licentious home

  1. My friend is dating a girl whom I’ve heard comes from a
    home that is licentious.  May I inform him of this?
  1. You are obligated to inform him.  As with a heretic, none
    of the pre-conditions apply.  However, if you’ve heard the information only
    second hand, you should tell him so; since under such circumstances you yourself
    may only suspect that it’s true and not believe it with certainty.  Either
    way though, you are obligated to warn him about the girl.


This section is
formatted as a conversation between Oded and Menaseh.   Oded is encouraging his
friend Menaseh to be more careful in guarding his tongue from evil speech.  The
thoughts in this section are primarily based on the sefer, Shmiras Haloshon.

Menaseh:  Yesterday, you beautifully described a segment
of Shir Hashirim as part of a conversation between the Jewish nation and

Oded:  Correct!  The Jewish nation asked Hashem, how
will you shepherd your flock when they are amongst the nations in Exile?

Menaseh:  You explained that Hashem responded, if you
want to know how to shepherd your flock and protect them from the nations of
the world who seek to torment them, follow in the footsteps of your forefathers
who clung to my Torah and Mitzvos.  In this merit they will remain safe even
amongst the nations.

Oded:  You mentioned that you had a question
regarding that.

Menaseh:  Yes, I do.  I don’t really understand what
Shlomo Hamelech is trying to teach us here.  Don’t we already know that Hashem
wants us to follow in the footsteps of our forefathers?

Oded:  You are raising a good point.  I would suggest
the following.  As a result of our exile we’ve experienced a diminishment of
divine good and the multiplication of hardships and difficulties.  The Jewish Nation
(under the influence of it’s evil inclination) considers that perhaps with this
new reality it would be better to take a different course than did are fathers
and remove from ourselves the yoke of Torah so that we can better integrate
amongst the nations of the world.  To which Hashem responds, if you want to
know how to restore the positive influence and remove your hardships, follow in
he footsteps of your forefathers so that you may benefit from their merit.

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1) Sefer Chofetz Chaim Sec. 2 Chap. 9 illustrations
Par. 6

2) Sefer Chofetz Chaim Sec. 2 Chap. 9 illustrations Par.
7 Be’er Mayim Chaim 9


Sefer Shmiras Haloshon Sha’ar HaTorah Chap. 8




1.      Don’t be hasty in arriving at a decision about the nature of the person
or situation but rather deliberate carefully.

2.      Do not exaggerate the matter.

3.      Your intentions should be solely to help the individual whom you are
advising and not out of hatred for the other party.

4.      If you can bring about the benefit some other way, without telling
loshon horah, then it is forbidden to tell the loshon horah.

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