Lesson 118


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Lesson #118

Please verbalize or
have in mind that you are studying this material as a merit for a specific
single and/or Jewish singles throughout the world.


Shiduch Issues


Heretical Beliefs

  1. I
    have a friend who is interested in a boy whom I know has some heretical
    beliefs.  May I inform her of this?
  1. You
    are obligated to inform her.  None
    of the previously mentioned conditions would apply in this case.
    1. You
      obviously don’t have to examine if it’s truly bad.
    2. You
      don’t have to worry about over exaggerating the matter, since even if he has
      only a few heretical beliefs; he is no longer considered a member of the
      Jewish nation.
    3. You
      don’t have to have in mind only the best interests of the one whom you
      are advising, since degrading a heretic is itself a mitzvah.
    4. You
      don’t have to search for other ways to bring about this benefit since it
      is a mitzvah to degrade a heretic.


Torah Scholarship

  1. My
    friend is looking to marry a fellow who is learning Torah.  I happen to know that the particular boy
    that she is interested in is not such a Torah scholar.  Am I permitted to tell her?
  1. No
    you may not.  It is upon her or her
    family to research whether he meets their standards of scholarship by
    taking him to Torah scholars for an evaluation.  If they have not done so, they have
    de-facto accepted him for what he is.


This section is
formatted as a conversation between Oded and Menaseh.   Oded is encouraging his friend Menaseh to be
more careful in guarding his tongue from evil speech.  The thoughts in this section are primarily
based on the sefer, Shmiras Haloshon.

Oded:  We really
need to stand in shame before our fathers of the previous generations.

Menaseh:  Why
is that?

Oded:  How will
we answer them when they inquire of us: “Why were you weak in your Torah and
Mitzvah observance?”

Menaseh:  Look,
things are very different now-a-days than in the days of our ancestors.

Oded:  You’re
absolutely correct!  Our ancestors had to
deal with rulers who did everything in their power to undermine and obliterate
Torah study and mitzvos, yet, our ancestors prevailed and risked their lives to
study Torah and perform mitzvos.  We, on
the other hand, live in countries that grant us the freedom to study Torah and
send our children to yeshivos.  How then
will we answer our ancestors when they ask us why you were weak in your Torah
Study and mitzvah performance?

Menaseh:  You
are correct; we will have to hang our heads in shame before them.

Oded:  The
alternative is to strengthen ourselves in Torah learning and mitzvah
performance so that we can stand proudly before them and declare we followed in
your footsteps.

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1) Sefer Chofetz Chaim Sec. 2 Chap. 9
illustrations Par. 6

2) Sefer Chofetz Chaim Sec. 2 Chap. 9 illustrations Par.


Sefer Shmiras Haloshon Sha’ar HaTorah Chap. 8

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