Lesson 113

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Lesson #113

Please verbalize or
have in mind that you are studying this material as a merit for a specific
single and/or Jewish singles throughout the world.


Advising against


  1. My friend wants to partner up with a fellow whom I know is
    monetarily untrustworthy.  My friend doesn’t realize this and I’m concerned
    that he will be taken advantage of.  May I warn my friend not to join up
    with him?
  1. Yes you may, so as to prevent your friend from incurring
    damage as a result of the partnership.  However, you must adhere to the
    conditions mentioned in previous lessons (See appendix below).


  1. What if the fellow, whom my friend wants to become
    partners with, is not a shady character but he’s not in the most stable
    financial position.  May I inform my friend?
  1. No you may not.  Who’s to say that because he currently is
    not financially stable, he won’t make a good business partner?  To the
    contrary, by helping a poor person “get on his feet” your friend only
    stands to gain.  If you were to discourage your friend from joining up
    with him, you would perhaps be causing the fellow undo damage and it would
    therefore be considered loshon horah.


This section is
formatted as a conversation between Oded and Menaseh.   Oded is encouraging his
friend Menaseh to be more careful in guarding his tongue from evil speech.  The
thoughts in this section are primarily based on the sefer, Shmiras Haloshon.

Oded:  Hashem shows favoritism to those who provide
their sons with a proper Torah education.

Menaseh:  What do you mean Hashem shows favoritism; I
thought Hashem didn’t do that?

Oded:  That’s precisely the question that the
attribute of judgment asked Hashem.

Menaseh:  What was the question?

Oded:  The attribute of judgment asked Hashem, how do
you show favoritism to Klal Yisroel?  It says in the Torah that you are a G-d
who is great, powerful, and awesome; one who doesn’t show favoritism nor take

Menaseh:  Well, what did Hashem respond?

Oded:  Hashem replied: “How can you ask me why I show
them favoritism?  They already have shown me favoritism etc.  And further more,
they teach Torah and they stand in groups toiling in Torah and they hire teachers
to teach their sons Torah.”

Menaseh:  So what Hashem is saying is that it is a
justified showing of favoritism.

Oded:  Correct!  Notice though that one of the things
Hashem mentions is that we hire teachers to teach our sons Torah.  That is a
demonstration of how we favor Hashem and as a result Hashem in turn favors us.

If you have any
questions regarding these lessons, feel free to contact Rabbi Faivel Adelman by
hitting the reply button.


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1) Sefer Chofetz Chaim Sec. 2 Chap. 9 Illustration

2) Sefer Chofetz Chaim Sec. 2 Chap. 9 Illustration 2


Sefer Shmiras Haloshon Sha’ar HaTorah Chap. 7


1.      Don’t be hasty in arriving at a decision about the nature of the person
or situation but rather deliberate carefully.

2.      Do not exaggerate the matter.

3.      Your intentions should be solely to help the individual whom you are
advising and not out of hatred for the other party.

4.      If you can bring about the benefit some other way, without telling
rechilus, then it is forbidden to tell the rechilus.

You may not inflict any harm; you may only
prevent the other party from receiving a benefit.

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