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Please verbalize or
have in mind that you are studying this material as a merit for a specific
single and/or Jewish singles throughout the world.
- My friend is about to hire someone as an office manager. I
happen to know this fellow was crooked in the past. I am concerned that if
I tell my friend, I might ruin the fellow’s reputation throughout the
city. Am I allowed to tell my friend under these circumstances?
- Despite the fact that there is a chance that this fellow
repented for his crooked past, you are still allowed to warn your friend
so as to protect him in case the fellow is still a crook. (However, care
must be taken to heed the conditions listed in the appendix below.) However,
destroying the fellow’s reputation throughout the city is unjustified
under these circumstances. Therefore, if you know that by telling your
friend the man’s reputation will be destroyed, you are not allowed to tell
- What if I don’t know first hand that this fellow is a crook,
but rather I heard it from friends; may I warn my friend not to hire him?
- The Chofetz Chaim has a major doubt about this. Regarding
loshon horah it is clear that if you have a valid reason to tell the
loshon horah you must know the information first hand. However, regarding
rechilus there is reason to say that even if your knowledge is second hand
you may warn your friend, since by doing so you are protecting him from
possible harm. It is important though to make sure that your friend
understands that you don’t know this information first hand and therefore
it’s only a suspicion on your part as well.
This section is
formatted as a conversation between Oded and Menaseh. Oded is encouraging his
friend Menaseh to be more careful in guarding his tongue from evil speech. The
thoughts in this section are primarily based on the sefer, Shmiras Haloshon.
Oded: Let me ask you, how much would you pay to
become an expert in a tractate of Gemora?
Menaseh: Whatever I can!
Oded: So you obviously appreciate the value of
becoming an expert in a tractate of Gemora, even though you can’t fully
comprehend the real value of Torah here in this world.
Menaseh: What is the true value of Torah?
Oded: As I said, we can’t really comprehend it here,
but to give you an illustration, the Zohar states that one who knows one tractate
of Gemora inherits an entire world!
Menaseh: It sounds great but as you said, it’s hard
Oded: But in the world to come you will comprehend
it. Imagine how happy you’d be if you find in the world to come that you know
tractates that you’ve never toiled over.
Menaseh: How then will I know them?
Oded: As we mentioned previously, through supporting
Torah you become knowledgeable in Torah.
Menaseh: So you’re saying that I can become an
expert in Torah without actually toiling in it, but rather, by merely supporting
those who learn?
Oded: Precisely! If you would reflect on this point
a bit you would chase after Torah scholars, cling to them, and support them,
more than you would chase a good business partner.
If you have any
questions regarding these lessons, feel free to contact Rabbi Faivel Adelman by
hitting the reply button.
If you know others
who would appreciate this program, please encourage them to join. The more
people participating, the greater the zechus! In addition, you will have a
share in the merit of anyone who improves their speech as a result of you
signing them onto this program!!
1. Don’t be hasty in arriving at a decision about the nature of the person
or situation but rather deliberate carefully.
2. Do not exaggerate the matter.
3. Your intentions should be solely to help the individual whom you are
advising and not out of hatred for the other party.
4. If you can bring about the benefit some other way, without telling
rechilus, then it is forbidden to tell the rechilus.
5. You may not inflict any harm; you may only prevent the other party from
receiving a benefit; in this case being hired. To inflict actual harm on an
individual through rechilus there are additional conditions that must be met.
(They will be discussed in a future lesson.)
1) Sefer Chofetz Chaim Sec. 2 Chap. 9 Be’er
Mayim Chaim 9
2) Sefer Chofetz Chaim Sec. 2 Chap. 9 Be’er Mayim
Sefer Shmiras Haloshon Sha’ar Hatorah Chap. 6