Lesson 104

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Lesson #104

Please verbalize or
have in mind that you are studying this material as a merit for a specific
single and/or Jewish singles throughout the world.



When intended
benefit will not materialize

  1. I have a friend who is interested in a certain shiduch.  I
    have information about the girl that would indicate that it’s not a good
    shiduch; however, I doubt that my friend will heed my advice and drop her. 
    May I share the information with him under these circumstances?
  1. If you assess that the benefit will not materialize, even
    if your intentions are 100% noble, it is forbidden to tell him.  What can
    likely occur is that he will go through with the shiduch and when
    something goes wrong he will say: “I knew I shouldn’t have gone through
    with this; so and so told me this about you”, thereby committing the sin
    of rechilus.


When benefit will
materialize but will cause rechilus

  1. What if I know he will heed my advice but he is the type
    of person that will tell others what I told him and maybe even the girl
    herself, may I share with him the information?
  1. No.  If you know that he can’t keep it to himself and he
    is likely to commit the sin of rechilus by telling her or others in a way
    that it can eventually get back to her, it is forbidden for you to tell
    him, since by doing so you are causing him to sin.


This section is
formatted as a conversation between Oded and Menaseh.   Oded is encouraging his
friend Menaseh to be more careful in guarding his tongue from evil speech.  The
thoughts in this section are primarily based on the sefer, Shmiras Haloshon.

Oded:  Even if one is completely ignorant of Torah, it’s
possible that in the world to come he will know Torah.

Menaseh:  How is that?

Oded:  Our sages teach us that a person who supports
Torah will be rewarded with Torah knowledge.

Menaseh:  That’s incredible!

Oded:  It actually makes sense if you think about
it.  A person who supports Torah receives a portion of the reward for the Torah
learning that he enabled.  It’s known that the greatest form of pleasure in the
world to come stems from the spirit of the Torah.  Therefore, in order to
benefit from the reward that he deserves, he must have Torah knowledge.  If he
doesn’t have it on his own it is given to him so that he may reap the fruits of
his investment.

If you have any
questions regarding these lessons, feel free to contact Rabbi Faivel Adelman by
hitting the reply button.


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1) Sefer Chofetz Chaim Sec. 2 Chap. 9 Par.

2) Sefer Chofetz Chaim Sec. 2 Chap. 9 Par. 3


Sefer Shmiras Haloshon Sha’ar Hatorah Chap. 6

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