Lessons

Dedicated l’illuy nishmas

Rebecca bas Yedida

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zechuyos being generated for the sake of our single brethren.  Remember, by
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Lesson #7

Please verbalize or
have in mind that you are studying this material as a merit for a specific
single and/or Jewish singles throughout the world.

Halachah

Is it loshon horah
to reveal how I voted?

#1

1. I am a member of our Shul’s board.  We recently voted on a
   highly controversial communal matter.  I was in the minority.  After the
   meeting, a community member approached me and asked how I voted.  Is it
   permissible for me to tell him that I voted in line with his interests but
   was outvoted?

1. You may not reveal how you voted.  If he is made aware
   that some people took his side, it will increase his hatred towards those
   who voted against his interests and would therefore be considered
   Rechilus.

#2

1. We previously learned that if something was said in front
   of 3 people, it’s permissible for those who heard it to share what they
   heard with others, since word is bound to get out.  There were certainly
   more than three people at our board meeting.  Why then, would it be
   forbidden for me to reveal how I voted?

1. You are asking a good question.  The answer is a bit
   technical so please bear with me.  It is often difficult to arrive at the
   truth, alone.  For that reason, courts and communal boards are generally
   composed of numerous people.  By working together through the issues, the
   chances of arriving at the truth are much greater.  It is perfectly fine
   for each individual to have their own opinion, however, once a vote is
   taken and the majority has decided on one position, that position should
   be considered by all as closer to the truth than the minority opinion.  Therefore,
   while it’s true that we may assume that word will get out that there was a
   vote and the majority out ruled the minority, it is not necessarily true
   that people will find out that the minority is still sticking to its
   position.  It is therefore wrong to tell him that you voted according to
   his interests but were outvoted; for the following 2 reasons:
1. Since the majority ruled against you, their opinion is
   considered closer to the truth and therefore, there is no reason for you
   to mention what you originally thought, other than to arouse hard
   feelings.
2. Even if he were to find out that people originally sided
   with him, he will not necessarily know that they are still maintaining
   their positions.  When you tell him how you were on his side but were outvoted,
   you are letting him know that you still agree with him and as a result he
   will feel more hatred towards those who went against his interests.

Aggadah

This section is
formatted as a conversation between Oded and Menaseh.   Oded is encouraging his
friend Menaseh to be more careful in guarding his tongue from evil speech.  The
thoughts in this section are primarily based on the sefer, Shmiras Haloshon.

Oded:  Another idea that can help save us from the
terrible sin of loshon horah and its severe punishment is remembering what
Hashem did to Miriam.

Menaseh:  What did Hashem do to Miriam?

Oded:  Miriam spoke loshon horah about her younger
brother Moshe and Hashem punished her with tzoras.

Menaseh:  By just remembering what Hashem did to
Miriam we will be saved from speaking loshon horah?

Oded:  Actually, the Torah tells us not just to
remember it in our hearts, but to verbalize it with our mouths.

Menaseh:  Are you referring to that posuk that some
say after davening: “Zochor etc.”?

Oded:  Yes.

Menaseh:  I’ve said that posuk numerous times and it
hasn’t helped me refrain from loshon horah.

Oded:  If the Torah says it helps, and it’s not
working for you, then there must be something lacking on your part.

Menaseh:  What could be lacking?

Oded:  If you’re only verbalizing the posuk but not
taking it to heart, it certainly will not help.

Menaseh:  Perhaps, if you elaborate on the meaning of
the posuk, I would be better able to take it to heart and not just pay it lip
service.

Oded:  Very well; then tomorrow we will delve into
the meaning of the posuk.

If you have any
questions regarding these lessons, feel free to contact Rabbi Faivel Adelman by
hitting the reply button.

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Sources

Halachah

1) Sefer Chofetz Chaim Sec. 1 Chap. 2 Par.
11

2) Sefer Chofetz Chaim Sec. 1 Chap. 2 Be’er Mayim
Chaim 23

Agaddah

Sefer Shmiras Haloshon Sha’ar Hatevunah Chap. 12