Lesson 04

Dedicated l’illuy nishmas

Rebecca bas Yedida

Note:  We are now presented with a great
opportunity!  Since we have just begun a new cycle of hilchos Shmiras haloshon,
it’s the perfect time to encourage others to join and thereby increase the
zechuyos being generated for the sake of our single brethren.  Remember, by
increasing the number of participants we are not just increasing the zechuyos
proportionally, but rather exponentially!  Such is the power of a large group
that is doing the will of Hashem.  Let’s each encourage 2 friends to join. 
Imagine the tremendous benefit that will result, on our account.  Here is the
link to sign up:  http://groups.yahoo.com/group/segulah4singles/join

Lesson #7

Please verbalize or
have in mind that you are studying this material as a merit for a specific
single and/or Jewish singles throughout the world.


Is it loshon horah
to reveal how I voted?


  1. I am a member of our Shul’s board.  We recently voted on a
    highly controversial communal matter.  I was in the minority.  After the
    meeting, a community member approached me and asked how I voted.  Is it
    permissible for me to tell him that I voted in line with his interests but
    was outvoted?
  1. You may not reveal how you voted.  If he is made aware
    that some people took his side, it will increase his hatred towards those
    who voted against his interests and would therefore be considered


  1. We previously learned that if something was said in front
    of 3 people, it’s permissible for those who heard it to share what they
    heard with others, since word is bound to get out.  There were certainly
    more than three people at our board meeting.  Why then, would it be
    forbidden for me to reveal how I voted?
  1. You are asking a good question.  The answer is a bit
    technical so please bear with me.  It is often difficult to arrive at the
    truth, alone.  For that reason, courts and communal boards are generally
    composed of numerous people.  By working together through the issues, the
    chances of arriving at the truth are much greater.  It is perfectly fine
    for each individual to have their own opinion, however, once a vote is
    taken and the majority has decided on one position, that position should
    be considered by all as closer to the truth than the minority opinion.  Therefore,
    while it’s true that we may assume that word will get out that there was a
    vote and the majority out ruled the minority, it is not necessarily true
    that people will find out that the minority is still sticking to its
    position.  It is therefore wrong to tell him that you voted according to
    his interests but were outvoted; for the following 2 reasons:
    1. Since the majority ruled against you, their opinion is
      considered closer to the truth and therefore, there is no reason for you
      to mention what you originally thought, other than to arouse hard
    2. Even if he were to find out that people originally sided
      with him, he will not necessarily know that they are still maintaining
      their positions.  When you tell him how you were on his side but were outvoted,
      you are letting him know that you still agree with him and as a result he
      will feel more hatred towards those who went against his interests.


This section is
formatted as a conversation between Oded and Menaseh.   Oded is encouraging his
friend Menaseh to be more careful in guarding his tongue from evil speech.  The
thoughts in this section are primarily based on the sefer, Shmiras Haloshon.

Oded:  Another idea that can help save us from the
terrible sin of loshon horah and its severe punishment is remembering what
Hashem did to Miriam.

Menaseh:  What did Hashem do to Miriam?

Oded:  Miriam spoke loshon horah about her younger
brother Moshe and Hashem punished her with tzoras.

Menaseh:  By just remembering what Hashem did to
Miriam we will be saved from speaking loshon horah?

Oded:  Actually, the Torah tells us not just to
remember it in our hearts, but to verbalize it with our mouths.

Menaseh:  Are you referring to that posuk that some
say after davening: “Zochor etc.”?

Oded:  Yes.

Menaseh:  I’ve said that posuk numerous times and it
hasn’t helped me refrain from loshon horah.

Oded:  If the Torah says it helps, and it’s not
working for you, then there must be something lacking on your part.

Menaseh:  What could be lacking?

Oded:  If you’re only verbalizing the posuk but not
taking it to heart, it certainly will not help.

Menaseh:  Perhaps, if you elaborate on the meaning of
the posuk, I would be better able to take it to heart and not just pay it lip

Oded:  Very well; then tomorrow we will delve into
the meaning of the posuk.


If you have any
questions regarding these lessons, feel free to contact Rabbi Faivel Adelman by
hitting the reply button.


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1) Sefer Chofetz Chaim Sec. 1 Chap. 2 Par.

2) Sefer Chofetz Chaim Sec. 1 Chap. 2 Be’er Mayim
Chaim 23


Sefer Shmiras Haloshon Sha’ar Hatevunah Chap. 12

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